Monday, 6 March 2017


I may have not bought into many technologies, like consoles for instance, but I've always been interested in reading about the tech.

The closest I came to a console was owning a Sony PSP when it first came out.

When I first read and then saw pictures of Nintendo's Switch portable device I was first impressed. This was when I thought that there was hardware built into the dock so that it could play on a TV. 

Then I was disappointed and shaking me head in confusion. I mean we have had a resolution fiasco concerning the PS4 and namely the XBox One, now the PS4 Pro and perhaps this year's XBox Scorpio too?

Considering this resolution fiasco with large consoles I was then wondering what voodoo magic was going on with the Nintendo Switch?

Well ... I'm joking really as I realised that this portable device simply could not process 1080p graphics so just have been a lower resolution for both the portable display and TV.

I honestly thought the entire idea stupid. But then I did think there might be enough people naive enough to buy them, mainly kids.

So you can imagine my surprise when tech reviewer after tech reviewer we salivating over this tablet PC. Yeah ... grown adults drooling over a tablet PC, like they have not seen a tablet PC before.
Then I saw a report that states there have been a number of problems.

The first is an issue with dead pixels and dark areas of the screen that customers have contacted Nintendo about who have stated these are not faults.

Well at least I know why you haven't heard much from Nintendo as it seems they have been in cryosleep since about 2005! That's roughly around the last time I heard about dead pixels.

The one I'm waiting for, scratched screens placing a portable device in a pointless dock.

Oh did I say pointless?!

Oh well it turns out that when the device is in its dock and you pay games on a TV the frame rates are terrible, 30 frames per second can drop to 20 frames per second.

Now ... remember there are a number of people running around the internet claiming that AMD's Ryzen CPU is no good for gaming because your getting 120 frames per second instead of 140 frames per second?

Umm ... if your reading this and we one of those arguing that Ryzen is not a having chip? You had better not be an owner or plan on ever being an owner of a Nintendo Switch. Because of I find out I'll rip you a new one you will never live down.

Worse still ... you had better not be a tech reviewer that whinged that true gamers demands frames in the hundreds per second and own a Nintendo Switch performing a whole one tenth of that for 300 odd quid.

Oh and when you but your 20 frames per second gaming device ... don't use it near wi-fi routers, wi-fi printers, wi-fi headphones, Bluetooth headphones, Bluetooth headsets, Bluetooth speakers (it gets better), microwave ovens and (better still ... wait for it ...) fucking aquariums. Yes I said aquariums as it seems the wireless controllers are all shit too.

Hmm does this include the Elite Delusional controller that sells for the price of a pretty good professional keyboards at £70?!

My good God ... the idiots that have spent £70 on a controller when they have already paid £300 on a seriously underpowered tablet PC and the crowing about it in their YouTube videos?!


Is that sort of accepted premiums you pay on hardware just to play a Zelda title?

If the answer to this is yes then ... my God, what magical tomfoolery goes on with these Zelda games? I mean I always saw the attraction for kids ... to a degree.

Tell you what ... slap a sequel to Alien Isolation on that puppy, make it longer and with less issues and I'll effing buy one!

Actually, no. Just give me a sequel to Alien Isolation on PC. Lol.

I've never played a game through even close to add many times as I have Alien Isolation. Considering I'm one that scratches their head at how people can play a title through more than once. Twice is the most ... I played that Alien Isolation through on normal, then three times on hard ... you get an achievement for doing it on hard, again for doing it twice I think. Nightmare was OK until a point I couldn't get beyond without ... something or other I could not collect and had used up.

Bloody LOVE that game!

Loved Fallouts, mmm except 4, and Elder Scrolls but outside of New Vegas, twice, never played one more than once.

Only two other games I've played through more than once ... Call Of Juarez Gunslinger and Deus Ex Human Revolution.

God help those naive people who purchased Nintendo Switches. I was honestly interested in what they was working on. When I first saw the leaks I thought it was a very bad and very faked leak. No way someone would release a gaming tablet, as I thought nVidia tried that already?

Oh ... I owned a Shield Tablet. Crap! Never again.

I saw one tech reviewer using one on a YouTube video and gun crowing on about how he loves it. It was the newer model to mine and I came to two possible conclusions that he said what he did ...
1 The second model is way, way better and more powerful than the first?!

2 He has not owned it long enough?!

Oh there is a third possibility of course and that involves money. Something that too many people are quick to claim about many reviewers that I am not. But if the follow up to Shield is anything like the first? Sorry but that was an extremely frustrating experience, slow to a fucking crawl after 6 months old and spent as much time being repaired as I spent using the effing thing.


I would rather pluck out my own eyes with two rusty spoons than ever go through that again even if it was effing given to me!

Yeah companies can send me tablet PC's and Nintendo Switches and I would happily give them away in competitions are take them down to a cancer ward for children as I would let them have them and get some sort of joy or of them. If it is at all possible that is?

God knows what in going to be reading next? Oh did read about some screens getting scratched easily?


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