Wednesday, 20 February 2013


OK I really need to type out a post about this really annoying let down for what should be the greatest game ever created?!

Sorry to all you magazines and online reviewers but your way, WAY wrong in your scoring on Elder Scrolls V Skyrim and I am really unhappy to have to say this.

Right very early on in the game I accidentally consumed umm something that gradually turned me into a vampire. REALLY EARLY ON!! Now not realising what a problem for me this would be and just how annoying it would make the game nor that I had to cure it I went on.

When the annoying dizzying started and the blood boiling in sunlight I attempted to find out something about it on the Internet and found a site called Gamefront. There is a whole page on curing Vampyrism and the amount of people going mental and some who have cured it being very sarcastic towards others that are complaining.

Well those having a go at others and insulting them by stating they cannot read I think you will find it is YOU that cannot read! Read on...

So I was afflicted by this Vampyrism purely because the keys had altered from Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion... now WHY THE FECK WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

So the options are...

1) Consume the Cure for All Diseases


2) Find an alter and pray at it!


3) Travel to Mortar and speak to Inn Keeper who tells you to speak to Falion, has to be done in THAT order, buy a black soul gem, fill it with a soul (FECK ME ALREADY!!), return to Falion and arrange to meet him at this location at dawn. Make sure you are not a starved vampire and when he arrives after a fecking annoying wait it tells you to speak to him. You speak to him and ... NOTHING!!!

I think that part of the game code, probably where the micro stutter crept in, were fecking intoxicated that day and stoned?!?!

After travelling half the damn map and killing two dragons and having a third bugger off just as I was about to dispatch his arse to the four winds he buggers off nowhere to be seen. I am gathering shouts but had no idea until I noticed three were greyed out that I needed to capture DRAGON SOULS...cheers fellas!!!

After eventually capturing a sould using a soul trap spell I ditch Lydia, quite accidentally, in errr that place in the freezing cold and a large expansive college and end up back in Morthal.

I arrange to meet Falion and wait around for bloody ages only when he turns up I speak to him and the three ususal options appear and ... NOTHING! He turns up to meet you and stands there like an lemon?!

Thinking I must be looking too vampire like I go back to another saved game, this is four or five evenings now of attempting to cure Vampirism, shit dudes I could have completed Half Life 2 BLOODY TWICE in that time maybe three times?! I go and feed, ewww, and go back and meet Falion and he still turns up and stands there like an idiot. GROAN.

So I go back to said saved game only this time I suck off half the town of Molthar!! Two seprate couples, though oddly the wife of one couple, Thunnar's wife, will not allow me to feed or pickpocket either. Still I have fed over two dozen times and I thought surely now this will work?!

No, Falion still arrives and stands there like a god damn IDIOT!!! Why even turn up? WHY TELL YOU that he will cure you, then turn up at the circle and then just stand around like a brainless moron?

I then remembered reading somewhere that you had to attack Falion a few times and then he submits and performs the ritual?! Oh yeah well that worked out well and the only thing I discovered form this is that despite having him down and out several times you cannot kill him!!

I used every single weapon and every single posion along with going through all thee types of health potions I had 3 or more of each. Every single destruction magic spell and then some.

Just remebered that PRIOR to attacking him I had thought that maybe I needed to be naked, like I discovered you had to be to get in people's houses without them waking up when you need to feed. So cast off all clothing jewellery and weapons once Falion turned up but still nothing?!

I led him towards some crabs too and then saved his arse several times and take a guess to how that went?!

I only ended up trying to slay him as I got so enraged at hearing his bloody voice and that was how I discovered that even when he is cowering at your feet that blows from single handed nor two handed swords do a dman thing to him?!

I started to think this was some kind of gaming coders joke on gamers?

I mean how and why would it be that hard to reverse something you did not want to become anyway? I have played the game for two weeks now and spent 90% of the time as this damned Vampire! It has runied the enjoyment of the game for me and I am sick to death of it if I am honest.

Looking down the forums, especially the one in Gamefront, I am not the only one and the chat forum is really lengthy with others complaining of the same thing. In fact I am astounded at the people that managed to cure it and even more so that they speak to others like they are idiots because they cannot.

So after perusing the forums again looking for a console cheat to rid myself of this fecking annoying thing, I hate the whole Vampire thing anyway and did not even realise they were in Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion, and think its all bloody, pardon the pun, teenage fashion crap in all honesty what started with Buffy and made worse by the Twilight films that they seem to be included to add appeal to teenage obsessives?!

In all honesty everything I read about Skyrim was amazing and even the first week os evenings playing it were amazing. But it ended up on a slippery slope that seemed to just increase its inclination the longer I played the game.

I had already been salivating over Elder Scrolls VI and hope its subtitled 'DO NOT WORRY THE VAMPIRES ARE BANISHED' otherwise I think I will wait and see what people say about it. This Vampire business really IS that shit in all honesty and I will have to try a console cheat as the only other option is start for the beginning.

If I do the first thing I am going to do in Skyrim is find the biggest baddest weapon available and then travel to Morthal to see Falion, but I WILL NOT BE SPEAKING TO HIM THAT IS FOR SURE!!!

This coming from a gamer who when breaking into someoes home to feed on their blood will not steal or pickpocket them while there as I think I am doing them an injustice as it as if they become a vampire as a result of my feeding on them I am consigning them to a fate worse than DEATH ITSELF!!

Now I am off to walk into the open jaws of a bloody big dragon to put myself out of my never ending misery that is Skyrim?!



Well it seems it was a fault with coding after all!!!

Go the the centre of the Ritual Circle...

...get the console command line up by pressing ` or the key to the left of one on my keyboard then type in...

prid 0001aa5e  ... then press RETURN followed by...

moveto player ... then press return...

Then press escape to go back to the game...

FALION reappears (oh OK SPAWNS) next to you in the circle and starts the damned ritual!


God really bad coding that was and if there is an update to PATCH this glitch then I am afraid to say it is a prime example that after all this time STEAM is till crap!!

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