Monday, 25 May 2015


I think one of the biggest injustices in gaming reviews history has just taken place with The Witcher 3?!

I have been playing it for another couple of hours and it is utterly, utterly terrible.

Besides all the other little annoying and bad things I have noticed I have come across some very bizarre things.

Forgetting about the clonky controls, like when your right on top of something it does not highlight but will then highlight a chest or body ten feet away, I went looking for some loot this morning.

The combat is dreadful and appalling compared to The Witcher 2!

But I found his loot that was under a bridge so when on the bridge I jumped off it to the right into the water. Only to find that the loot was on the far side of a metal grate that every single arch had. When I then thought it would be simple enough to just climb back up and jump down the other side I discovered it was not?! I looked around and found that the river on both sides had very steep parts to get up?! I thought 'great, now I am going to have to go running a long way to just get back to the bridge I just jumped off!'!

There was nowhere to jump up and return back to where I jumped off and that stupid design where it then gives you the map to fast travel somewhere with a uttering about his advanced age.

Err only there were no points nearby to fast travel too!

Oh and I have not only hit the edge of the map within 24 hours but I also have hit invisible barriers...on roads?! And BRIDGES?! Umm...could you not have used the missed placed bloody cliffs you have scattered about? (see below). Morons.

It gets better.

I find some loot is in this castle looking like ruin on a hill...umm except it is not a hill. Several times trying to figure out how to get up there I die in several ways, one I did not know I soon found out was from arrows fired at me from people I could not see no matter how much I tried. The other way was falling down these cliffs you often do not see until its too late, stupid placings of plants and trees...the edge of a cliff?!

Then when I managed to find a way to get up onto this unbelievably tall platform where the ruins are the top has half a dozen deserters who miraculously spot you despite barely getting to the top! DEAD!

Try this again, only more deserters manage to live up this thing you cannot get up as well as find enough to eat and ... DEAD!

Now get this...

The third, fourth, fifth, sixth and SEVENTH time, maybe more, that I attempt this I cannot get up the same way that I did the first two?!

It gets better...

Right behind the bit you climb up there is ... wait for it ... an fecking cliff! Only its too far away to be any real concern ... or so it appears! Wrong!

Those times I failed to jump up where I mysteriously managed to do it successfully without problem the first two times and the collision detection and the wonky controls have you sliding ten feet away from the wall and ... WHOOPS ... off the edge of the cliff and ... DEAD!

In my thirty plus years of computer gaming I have never, repeat NEVER, known so many reviewers to get it so bloody wrong!

Also what is with those side quests on the notice boards? Half of them you do not understand what they are on about and the others seems to want you joining the army, or finding someones fecking shovel?!

Food is fecking expensive but unique items only one of the remaining few Witchers can find ain't worth diddly-squat?! I looted for hours and bought food without looking at the prices and suddenly noticed I did not have much more money than I did when I started?!

Ninety two to ninety seven percent? Are you taking the fecking piss?!

When Dragon Age Inquisition was given 85% I thought was a fair score, maybe a little low even and this for me is not even close!

Add in the ripped off graphics and you have one hell of a bloody mess here.

Also they state there is a major update to many of these things but ... err well I do not know how it installs...through GOG Galaxy! Added to this there is no way of looking for updates and even this gets better still ...

My GOG Galaxy says I am on version 1.03 but in the game it states version 1.02?! I do not know what the version is of the update they were talking about on-line!

I cannot help but wonder if a lot of reviewers are sitting their looking at their shiny new 8 thread CPU and dual Radeon R9-390 rigs or smiling about them soon turning up...for FREE?!

I even saw an honest reviewer on YouTube do a little rant at the state of reviews lately and something Intel might be doing with releasing two CPUs at the same time, Broadwell and Skylake, or whatever they are I get confused these days. He really repeated several times at how disgusted he was at some of the things he had seen of late. Even said that tech reviewers were feeling like they had been kicked in the teeth, by Intel but hardly surprising. Which is why I rip out fanboys as often as I do as they are complete idiots. Akin to Darth Vaders Stormtroopers. Cannon fodder and locust like.

I bought this to have a bit of enjoyment while killing a few days until I have to go and ... umm work on something...big.

That was a waste of £40!

Obviously game designers that are OK on a small scale as far as maps are concerned are obviously out of the depth with more open world type maps?

EDIT: I just walked away from the computer, put the kettle on before considering texting someone to meet up when I thought about all those people that have had crashing issues and other stuttering issues, on the cards the game claims to be best on by the way.

My word, I feel bloody sorry for all those people with those two extra issues!

But then I would say take solace in this, because maybe, just maybe, the update to fix it might fixx the collision detection, invisible barrier problems and the other things that ruin the game?

Fingers crossed!

Probably when I then have no time to play it I would wager?!


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